Monday, June 23, 2008

God damnit, why can't I remember to eat my bananas before they turn all gross and mushy?

Does anyone know anyone who likes to make banana bread? I will give them like four bananas a week, because I will fucking forget to eat my bananas before they turn disgusting and mushy, and then I will give them my bananas so they can make banana bread. Then they can give me some banana bread, but I will fucking forget to eat it before it turns disgusting and moldy. Then maybe I will think, it's not too moldy, and I will eat it, and it will have ergot in there, and then people will think I am a witch. Or I guess a Warlock, as they call witches who have balls.


Figure 12: Bitchez been eatin' too much tainted rye


If I become a Warlock, I will name my balls Gandalf and Dumbledore. However, this is unlikely.

18 comments:

Matthew Frederick said...

Warlock!!

Matthew Frederick said...

Witch Balls!!

matty lite said...

"These witch balls are mesmerizing to gaze upon."

Brien said...

Do those video clips involve Bowie in Labyrinth? Because I'm at work and can't see them but he definitely has some witch balls in that movie dudes and shit.

Matthew Frederick said...

(Bowie + Witch Ball)(M.C. Escher)/Muppets

Milla said...

is that your balls handing you a beer to drink?

Milla said...

we are bored with this post matt. c'mon, how long's it been now?

Matthew Frederick said...

Seems like an eternity.

I know that you're real proud of this one, Matt, but it's time to move on to new subjects. Resting on one's laurels turns quickly to stasis.

Milla said...

amen. yeah i think sometimes, matty, you kind of too often rely on jokes about wizards and jokes about balls and i kind of feel like, 'been there, done that.'

Matthew Frederick said...

rotflmao!

Yeah, balls are funny. So are wizards. But you don't want to end up like Mike Myers - making sort of the same movie over and over again.

Matt is to Mike Myers as ...

Balls are to Verne Troyer

Wizards are to Vern Troyer.

Milla said...

Matt is to his balls, as this young lady is to Verne Troyer

Matthew Frederick said...

lol! omg! she's like so much taller than him! wtf?

Milla said...

yeah, i guess with the analogy i was going for, i kind of imagined that height wouldn't matter.

but it must be hard for them. i don't think we should lol.

Matthew Frederick said...

quit being so pc. its ok to lol. relax, bff.

Milla said...

bff, i don't think we should relax. ranae shrider's situation is essentially disturbing, not for the smalltime humping, but because this aspiring model clearly made the sextape to become famous as the lady who did the smalltime humping. so it's really no loling matter. this is where we're at with women's lib in hypercapitalism.

Matthew Frederick said...

don't you mean womyn's lib?

Milla said...

that's like totally not funny at all

e said...

matt f and i discussed this at length. just eat the spoiled bananas no matter how gross they are. it will give you super powers i swear.