Saturday, November 19, 2011


It'd be cool if someone photoshopped a picture of John Lennon and Paul McCartney, only instead of their usual bodies they'd have lady bodies, and they'd have elongated breasts. I mean, super duper elongated, like ten feet. And the two of them would be standing in front of a road that dead-ended in about eight feet. And then there'd be a caption underneath that said "you and I have mammaries longer than the road that stretches out ahead."

No wait, that would be stupid.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011


Hey, dudes. What's up? What's up in the "blogosphere?" I haven't been in here in a while. Is anyone still there? I suddenly have all this leisure time but I don't want to water down my facebook post quality, so let me tell you these things here:

  • I am driving around in a legal van for the first time in months. It will be hard to quit the habits of the illegal driver, though, like parking really close to the car behind you or pretending you arrived at your destination when a cop is behind you or taking the alley.

  • Pet peeve: when people say night-times after midnight are the morning. For real, that drives me nuts. Night is when it is dark. Morning is when the sun rises. It's not tomorrow until the sun rises. I know it's just a little joke, but it's such a petty way of thinking in terms of technicalities. You can do it, but don't do it at me. On the radio. I will change the station. I feel that strongly about it.

  • It's the same problem I have with how people in America sometimes say "an history" or when people get all up in arms about the correct use of commas. The "n" in "an" only needs to be there when the next word starts with a vowel sound. We pronounce the "h" in history, so we shouldn't say "an" before it. The comma simply denotes a pause in speaking the sentence. Say it out loud, and if you pause there, use a comma, and if you don't, don't. Especially when talking about that final "Oxford comma." Sometimes you want a pause before the last thing to emphasize it, sometimes you don't. It's not a thing where there needs to be a rule.

  • I have this new food I make where I have a leftover bit of a King of the Hill sandwich (a giant Italian salami sub, for you non-STLians), which tends to get a little soggy, and cut it up into bits and put them and some pepper jack cheese in a flour tortilla and microwave it for way too long and let it cool back down. I swear to god, it is incredible.

  • I also made this green curry burrito with some leftover veggie green curry with these weird ultra-dense Japanese yams and some off-brand laughing cow cheese. This one is more of a sealed-up toaster oven burrito. Unreal. The tang of the cheese and the sweetness and hotness of the curry. Yes.

  • My experience with my dissertation has changed my mind about something: you can polish a turd, after all.

  • Let me say here in this exciting historical time that I think this is an exciting historical time. I mean, every time is, but all these protests and shit. The next generation will ask us what it was like. It will make us feel cool.

Well, that's about it. Goodbye, blogosphere. I'll try to have something better for you next time.