Friday, October 09, 2009

One or more of these statements is true

Needing life is stressful. Life needs stress, but life puts stresses on one's capacity to need. Needing stress is a part of life, because stress isn't just needing life-- stress is also living need.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Shitty Food for Shitty People Episode 12: The Dessert Edition, aka Eat Shit and Die

I went camping and had some leftover marshmallows from "S'mores" (man that is a terrible name, why is it called that, it makes me cringe to even type it). So I made some rice krispy treats, you know. Easy. Not blog-worthy. But then a few days later I realized I still had more generic rice krispies, a few marshmallows, and a chocolate bar I hadn't noticed. So in a temporary fit of over-confidence I decided to try my hand at one jumbo...

Crispy Chocolate Dooky Roll

  • Melt some marshmallows and a little butter in a pot
  • Not too much butter, now
  • Put just a little shake of generic rice crispies in there and stir it up as smooth as you can get it
  • DON'T just pour it on some wax paper-- I did that and regretted it
  • DO pour it onto like a dough-rolling type surface that you have sprinkled with-- get this, this is my real innovation here-- fuckin' NON-DAIRY CREAMER, people. Seriously. It works.
  • Roll that shit into a little shit.
  • Meanwhile be melting the chocolate bar you found in your cupboard. Maybe add a dash of milk.
  • Oh ya I think it seems like a good idea to put the crispy marshmallow dook into the fridge while you melt the chocolate.
  • But then take it out and pour the melted chocolate over it, and roll it around in the chocolate to coat it.
  • Then sprinkle a bunch of salted roasted peanuts on there, and roll it around in there so they stick all into the chocolate
  • Put that shit in the fridge
  • Save it for when someone special comes to visit
  • It looks quite literally like shit. Eat it and die a happy man/woman/man-woman.

It was supposed to be like a mixture of

and Instead it turned out looking like something you'd find here. What you gonna do.