Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Thee Fyne and Sordid Taile of Gabblecocke the Crabgath'rer

Well, I guess all we know for sure about the guy is he lived long ago, he was a brilliant board arguer and the first Dean of Arguments, he was known for his zero tolerance approach to scab-grappling and filimandering, he probably had a flowing, white beard, he practically invented modern techniques of both ghost-tittification and wang-wrangling as we know them, and you gotta imagine he carried some manner of staff or scepter.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

A point about baseball and money I think it is important to keep in mind in these boring times

Yes, it is boring and predictable that the Yankees, what with their payroll about a third larger than that of the next biggest payroll in the mlb and closer to double their NL rival this year (according to this), won the World Series. We have all heard it before, about buying a championship team. And listen, I hate the Yankees as much as the next guy. I felt almost physically sick when they were talking about A-Rod's and Texeira's first rings like the endpoint of a great hero's journey instead of the result of playing on shitty teams for a few more million until now.

BUT, I submit to you the following counter-arguments before you point your hate the wrong way:

  • Spending money is American. That is the American way. The Yankees wouldn't make all that money in the first place if they weren't putting out a great product, both on and off the field. Sure they live in a giant metropolis, but I'd be interested to find out how much of their income doesn't filter in from the immediate area. They have I guess what people call a "brand." That is American. Baseball is American. Capitalism is American.
  • So-called "small-market" teams (don't know about you, but I would love to be the guy with the biggest take of the Florida Marlins' 36 million) still make a SHIT TON of money. Where does the majority of that money go? In the owners' pockets. Every time you go to these annoying new stadiums, with their mall-like interiors and their $10 beers, most of your money is going into the owners' pockets. Every owner in the mlb is making all kinds of money. But guess what? Some owners don't give a flying fuck if their team does well (see the Chicago Cubs up til recently) and some do. Some owners, like some players, will take a couple million less to put more money into building a better product. Don't think for a second the Yankees wouldn't pull in just as much dough if they came in second, and then more of the dough could go to the owners' pockets. But instead they go out and buy the best team in baseball. That is American. That is baseball.
  • Amid all the talk of Pay-Rod and stuff, it's easy to forget about some long-time Yankees like Andy Pettite or Mariano Rivera. Those guys are old-school, man, playing for the same team for so long. Pettite's salary isn't even all that ridiculous. Almost any player in the mlb will tell you they want to play for a contender, and therefore the Yankees are easily the most desirable team for the players, since they know every single year the front office is going to do everything possible to win.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, ya, I hate the Yankees, but also I am pissed at every other team for not spending more dough. You know they got it. There's no such thing as an underdog, just owners who don't care enough to make a mil or so less. And I guess that, too, is pretty American. That's baseball.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Shitty Food for Shitty People Episode 12: The Weekly Diet Edition

  • Monday: make mac and cheese but stick tuna in there.
  • Tuesday: make mac and cheese but stick tuna in there.
  • Wednesday: make mac and cheese but stick tuna in there.
  • Thursday: make mac and cheese but stick tuna in there.
  • Friday: cereal
  • Saturday: make mac and cheese but stick tuna in there.
  • Sunday: go to Subway