Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Well I'll be... (repost from last year)

Wouldn't you know it, but the league run by some kind of strange tribal warlords who have instituted a form of cheating into the rules of the game won again. I for one am shocked that the league which builds its teams around this institutionalized form of cheating ends up being better every year. It just doesn't seem to follow from the fact that said cheating increases revenue, attracts more sluggers and lets them play longer, and allows pitchers to focus solely on pitching. So why, since the DH was first introduced to the mid-summer classic in 1989, has the AL won seventeen games and the NL only three? Beats me. In the words of my favorite cartoon cat, Ray Smuckles, "Dear. God. I. Am. Not. A. Religious. Man. But. Please. Help. Me. See. The. Connection. Here."

Also, there is the matter of this:

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

The Shin Ramyun they don't want you to know about

  • Get a pack of Shin Ramyun.

    Figure 12: Some of a Nearly Life-Size Pack of Shin Ramyun

  • Smush up the noodles before you open it.
  • Put them in boiling water, along with the dried vegetables.
  • Meanwhile sautee like 1/5 of an onion in a little leftover bacon grease.
  • Once that onion is all nice lookin' put some garlic in there too.
  • Then here's the kicker-- get a couple eggs, a dash of that Mae Ploy sweet chili sauce, a dash of rice vinegar, and little bit of plain old barbecue sauce. Put all that in there with the onions & garlic.
  • Oh shit forgot about the noodles, go strain them with a plate or a lid or something (can't use a collander or you'll lose the not-dried-anymore vegetable bits). Put some of the flavor packet on there now.
  • Stir up that "omelet" all nice til the eggs are mostly cooked, then pour it in with the strained noodles and mix it around over a lil' heat til the eggs are all cooked in little slivers and bits.
  • Probably add some more of the flavor packet too.
  • Just eat it out of the pot in order to stay under the two-dish rule.

This meal does not taste like it cost $1.03 at all. It is more of a $4.28 taste we're talkin'.

--Brought to you by Shitty Food for Shitty People, Inc.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Even bluer

This one was too easy so I only did some.

A time to die

I heard Gram Parsons talked them out of this version.