"Pizza"

Sometimes I get into a rut of eating way too much pizza. So I didn't want to eat pizza yet again last night. It is not a taste issue, it is a principles issue. So, as often one does when one confronts a principles issue, I compromised:

• Have an old pita bread (the wheat kind called "pocket bread," not the spongy Greek kind).
  
  

  Figure 12: That kind of pita bread I am talking about
  

  
  
• Have some of that "salsa" that comes in little cans (the kind whose consistensy is homogenous and kind of like enchilada sauce, only it is tomato-based and spicy).
  
  

  Figure 12: That kind of salsa I am talking about

  
  
• Have some of that spreadable cheese I love so much.
  
  

  Figure 12: That spreadable cheese I love so much
  

  
  
• Turn on your oven to about 375-ish, about five minutes ago.
  
• Spread a wedge of that cheese on the pita.
  
• Put some fresh-ground pepper on there (it goes so good with that cheese I want them to be close together).
  
• Spread half a can or so of the salsa on there.
  
• Put as many slices as you need of delicious Provel cheese over top to cover.
  
• Sprinkle on some oregano (crush it up in your fingers as you sprinkle, so it smells good) and some, I dunno, I bet garlic powder would be good.
  
• stick in the oven until the slices of Provel look like the cheese that comes draped over the top of French onion soup (oh god damn now I am really in the mood for French onion soup), about 8 or 9 minutes, I bet.
  
• Just eat the ever-living FUCK outta that shit.

If cooked properly, this meal should cause you to fall asleep on your chair, thus missing the end of the Angels-Sox game. It's cool, that was probably the one you cared the least about anyhow, right?