Hey, look, I'm not one of those dudes who's all into fractals as a Thing. I mean, you're not gonna see me hangin' around in like a fractal shirt and you're not gonna hear me talkin' about how if we could understand fractals we could like solve hunger and racism and probably travel to distant reaches of space besides.
Figure 12: I'm not this guy
But check it out: have you heard about fractal antennas*? It is so cool. They can make antennas with a ton of surface area but still tiny, because all the surface area is from all the little tiny details instead of in broad lines, you know? Shit, there's probably one in your cell phone! Believe it.
Figure 12: Believe it
Well anyhow I was thinking: why can't we use this technology to make a tiny tuba? It could have a pretty small tube, diameter-wise, but one that is just outrageously long, but you know, long from being all bent around into outlandish, somewhat psychedelic shapes that are produced from the same kind of self-similarity iteration type processes as those t-shirt patterns.
It would make such a low sound, but yet it would fit in the palm of your hand. (If your spine isn't tingling right now, either you don't care about the inconvenient size of the commercially available tubas of the day, or you maybe have some sort of neural problem you maybe should get checked out). I'm serious. This could change everything.
Scientists! Metallurgists! Help me! Now we make our millions! This is the dream that John Phillip Sousa never even knew he had!
Figure 12: Every Single Music Video in the History of the Genre was Leading Up to This Moment, But Still, Imagine it With Four Tiny Fractal Tubas
*I dare you to tell me I should say antennae. I fuckin' DARE you.
4 comments:
The drummer looks a little bit like Yadier Molina.
i'll only care about this once it can be applied to harps. then when annoying people say to me "don't they make a travel harp?" "yes, now fuck off."
I don't think it will work for string instruments, cuz the strings have to be taut and how do you make a non-straight string taut? But just you wait for the newest research to pour in on anti-matter. Maybe there is some way to make a tiny string ultra-dense, like maybe it has a little mini black hole in there. I'm sorry that your dream instrument is way further into the future than mine.
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