I usually don't get too caught up in political stuff. But lately I have been a little bit more. I guess cuz it's everywhere. But check it out, I got this cool idea. I hear all this talk about Palin, about what the hell is the idea with her, and I figured something out-- Palin is there to triangulate Obama. I mean, experience-wise. On the one hand, you got the wisened elder McCain who obviously knows everything since he's like 99 years old and has been doing politics and army stuff since he was like 7. Then you got Palin who obviously knows nothing since she was just like the secretary of the Alaska PTA or whatever. In the middle is Obama, who like had experience once but never inhaled, or maybe whose experience is like the Canadian girlfriend he said he got to second base with or something.
Point being, this way the republican ticket has Obama surrounded. When Obama seems like he is bringing hard "beginner's mind" "non-Washington" kind of game, they can hold up their even more beginnerish, even more non-Washington Palin to cash in. But then when Obama tries to bring a more experience-havin' game, they hold up McCain and his eyebrows which have seen it all before. By circumscribing Obama on either side, they can try to locate him just where they want to, public opinion-wise.
It is like Obama used to be a point, and so did McCain, and you could draw a line through both points, and it would be a straight line. Let's call it line segment OM. As long as that was the line segment, it was kind of an either/or, more/less kind of reasoning that could separate the two on any issue. Especially experience, which seemed so big there for a while, until the republicans started noticing nobody cared as much whether Obama had been in the senate for like four Strom Thurmonds (the new unit of Washington age) or not.
Well so then they put in Palin, and so now we have a line segment POM, and now we can make a more exact judgment of who is closer to who. Which line segment is shorter, PO or OM? That is what I am talkin'. Geometry. Political geometry. Can you major in that? I wanna go back to school and major in political geometry. I got a compass and everything. Good bye.
P.S. There was a test today in class, so no Mr. Fuji. But don't worry cuz I got the next two planned out and they are gonna cause you to have one single chuckle, EACH.
Friday, September 26, 2008
I had a political idea
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10 comments:
ooooh.
There's also the appeal to all the creationist cunts. Plus she doesn't have a cancerface or wear depends.
She's an absolutely brilliant choice on the GOP's part, even if risky. The pinnacle of absolute cynicism in politics. I hope they don't get away with it. The backlash is already sounding, but there are a lot of morons out there.
The line between the GOP and the Dems is pretty thin, but in this election I think it's pretty crucial someone else cleans up the mess instead of shitting on it further.
So everyone cross your fingers and hope McCain has a fucking stroke before November.
Is there a corresponding sandwich for this POM?
Polenta, Onions, and Mutton.
And you can order it with Bacon.
Politics? Dude, get a blog.
You guys just left my apartment and I was cooking black eyed peas and I had no oil or flavor of any kind in the apartment at all. No butter or olive oil to cook the leek and garlic which were the only vegetable things I had. In my cupboard I had some marmite and a tin of pineapple that I couldn't open.
So I just boiled up that garlic and leek with the beans and then added a little scoop of marmite.
Then at the end I just now had a moment of genius in totally empty kitchen. I opened the fridge and there was peanut butter. I put a scoop of peanut butter in my beans. Now they are the most delicious thing I have eaten in days and days. I just wanted to let you know, Matt.
I withdraw the excessive positivity in my last comment. I feel sick and I just farted in a way that sounded like a monster asking a question.
I'm sorry we're supposed to be writing political things here. I see the deep animal terror in Palin when she is fucking up an answer. There is something awesome about nonsensical, scared blank-brain talk. She is like a shaman speaking in tongues.
I have done it before in an oral exam too. You hook on to phrases that you remember. But they have no meaning. You are like tarzan swinging from phrase you remember to phrase you remember. That was how it was for me. And only thing in your brain is hyperawareness of whether people are noticing that you've lost the use of language.
I read the following idea somewhere, and I think it's quite plausible:
Theory 1: Sarah Palin is an empty suit, and her mangling of her rehearsed responses to questions is due to her empty-suitedness.
Theory 2: Sarah Palin is not an empty suit, but her actual views on things are so incredibly right-wing conservative that she is supposed to deliver more moderate-sounding canned answers to every question. But she's horrible at delivering canned answers.
Theory 1 renders her unfit for high office. Theory 2 renders her undesirable for high office.
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