The fish gets even more pissed off

I had a political idea

I usually don't get too caught up in political stuff. But lately I have been a little bit more. I guess cuz it's everywhere. But check it out, I got this cool idea. I hear all this talk about Palin, about what the hell is the idea with her, and I figured something out-- Palin is there to triangulate Obama. I mean, experience-wise. On the one hand, you got the wisened elder McCain who obviously knows everything since he's like 99 years old and has been doing politics and army stuff since he was like 7. Then you got Palin who obviously knows nothing since she was just like the secretary of the Alaska PTA or whatever. In the middle is Obama, who like had experience once but never inhaled, or maybe whose experience is like the Canadian girlfriend he said he got to second base with or something.

Point being, this way the republican ticket has Obama surrounded. When Obama seems like he is bringing hard "beginner's mind" "non-Washington" kind of game, they can hold up their even more beginnerish, even more non-Washington Palin to cash in. But then when Obama tries to bring a more experience-havin' game, they hold up McCain and his eyebrows which have seen it all before. By circumscribing Obama on either side, they can try to locate him just where they want to, public opinion-wise.

It is like Obama used to be a point, and so did McCain, and you could draw a line through both points, and it would be a straight line. Let's call it line segment OM. As long as that was the line segment, it was kind of an either/or, more/less kind of reasoning that could separate the two on any issue. Especially experience, which seemed so big there for a while, until the republicans started noticing nobody cared as much whether Obama had been in the senate for like four Strom Thurmonds (the new unit of Washington age) or not.

Well so then they put in Palin, and so now we have a line segment POM, and now we can make a more exact judgment of who is closer to who. Which line segment is shorter, PO or OM? That is what I am talkin'. Geometry. Political geometry. Can you major in that? I wanna go back to school and major in political geometry. I got a compass and everything. Good bye.

P.S. There was a test today in class, so no Mr. Fuji. But don't worry cuz I got the next two planned out and they are gonna cause you to have one single chuckle, EACH.

Preemptive strike against pronoun prescriptivists

Steven Pinker says "they" and "they" are homonyms, so suck it. Plus check out these examples from the wikipedia page, so suck it some more.

• Eche of theym sholde ... make theymselfe redy. — Caxton
  
• Arise; one knocks. / ... / Hark, how they knock! — Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
  
• 'Tis meet that some more audience than a mother, since nature makes them partial, should o'erhear the speech. — Shakespeare, Hamlet
  
• I would have everybody marry if they can do it properly. — Austen, Mansfield Park (1814)
  
• That's always your way, Maim—always sailing in to help somebody before they're hurt. — Mark Twain, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884)
  
• Caesar: "No, Cleopatra. No man goes to battle to be killed." / Cleopatra: "But they do get killed". — Shaw, Caesar and Cleopatra (1901)

Skeleton pisses off a giant fish by stating the obvious

A very special slo-mo edition

Mr. Fuji has felt the sting of road rage

The Bunny doesn't care about Mr. Fuji's heritage

MWF 10-11

Music Theory I

Prerequisite: something to do rather than pay attention to the class you've TA'd for like thirty times.

Recommendation: start drawing a comic using characters created in your youth.

Materials: pencil, paper, artistic skills that have not changed since the third grade.

Schedule: one strip per class meeting.

Grading: how bad you want that A, there, Ms. Palm?

Mr. Fuji slips on a banana and goes to the hospital

Mr. Fuji has seen Skeleton's carrots, all right.

Mr. Fuji just wanted to watch soccer

Dear Society,

I am sorry I swam in your pool without asking. I am now indebted to you, to the tune of fifty-five U.S. dollars and eight man-hours of community-geared labor. Please believe it is with utmost sincerity when I say I will pay you back. I will repay the man-hours tomorrow from eight a.m. until 5 p.m., and the dollars on October the second at four p.m. in courtroom four of your house.

We should hang out some time.

Matt

P.S. I hope things aren't gonna be "weird" between us now.