back to good ol' food again

I have three things about food:

First, a recipe:

Six Cheese pizza

-Buy yourself a Red Baron Four Cheese Pizza
-Shred two more kinds of cheese on it (how about cheddar and swiss?)


Next, a culinary tale:

I did all the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen so I could just go nuts in there with cooking, all using three different burners and having several "prep" areas. But then I couldn't decide what to cook, so I came up with an idea: Iron Chef Salami.


Figure 12: Three (3) slices of salami



See, I had some salami, real thin-sliced. I cut it up real small and put it in a pan and used it like you might use bacon or (in cooking shows) panchetta, all greasy and sizzling and ready to become the medium in which some chopped up garlic and onions get sauteed. That was the high point of my dish. It was delicious! But what are you gonna do, eat some chopped up salami garlic and onion hash? Not me. I had this stale old piece of pita bread that I toasted up crisp and crushed into crumbs, and I tried to smush up some of the salami-onion-garlic mixture and make a meatball kind of thing. It did not cohere. So instead I decided I would try to make my hash into a sauce. I wanted to "deglaze" it like in cooking shows, but there was no wine around. I used a little flat Dr. Pepper, though, because I knew for sure I needed something sweet in there to compliment the saltiness of the salami. It was delicious! So then I put in some canned tomatoes, and some mushrooms, and made it into a tomato sauce that I poured over some macaroni. That ruined it. It was not very good. So in desperation I tried to turn it into more of a casserole. I used the bread-crumby failed meatball stuff as a crust, and baked it. The texture worked, but it still tasted not so good. I ate it. There is some left over. I might not eat that.

Finally, an idea that I have:

It is called "Shitty Food for Shitty People." It is a cooking program in which some shitty person makes some shitty food, but it is shot, acted, and narrated like a real cooking show. Most of the food will never have a chance not to technically suck, but it will be funny. It will be a funny show.