Thursday, January 10, 2008

Get to know your imaginary community (part 1 of 22)


St. James Place is a modest, lower-middle class community located along the Eastern border of our imaginary city. Originally settled in the great northeastern pyrite rush of the 1820s, St. James Place became known for both its prostitutes and its sasparilla throughout the 19th and early 20th centuries. The 1903 discovery of an old leather and cork sports ball in the public square put St. James Place in the running as an alternate location for the baseball hall of fame, an honor this beleaguered town saw slip through its hands when the ball was revealed to be a key instrument in a primitive form of bondage-style sex playfully referred to by town residents of the day as "them ol' peculiar hoodwinks in the parlour," and made briefly famous on a national level with the publication of Philbert Tripleday's 1906 foxtrot of the same name.


Did you know? . . .
-You can get to St. James Place on the Pennsylvana Railroad?
-St. James is the patron saint of vinegar-based condiments?
-There are two Wendy's restaurants on the same street in St. James place?!?
-The scenes at "Adams College" in the film Revenge of the Nerds were shot in St. James Place?


And did you further know . . .
-Famous celebrities born in St. James Place include: Neil Patrick Harris!
-The St. James Place Children's Zoo tops the nation's list in unaccounted-for ungulates! Nobody knows how they got out, or where they went! This zoo needs more oversight!
-On an average day in St. James Place, there are over 4000 sandwiches eaten! This is hundreds more than are eaten in Marvin Gardens!

6 comments:

Matthew Frederick said...

You can get to St. James Place on the Pennsylvana Railroad?

Yeah, I found that out the hard way when I took the Short Line thinking it went to St. James. When I got off the train I had to walk clear across town!

Anonymous said...

I question the validity of your sandwich statistic. Motherfuckers be eatin some fucking sandwiches up in the Gardens. SOme fat motherfuckers

Anonymous said...

Guess what St James!>>!> I got a crack problem....reeeeeel badd. I also love drivin' my SUV with my bluetooth blinking and y'know what else? I heard Britney Spears is buying a condo in St James... right next door to Tom Sizemore's place.
I hope youre not eco-friendly StJayJay, cuz the only thing green about me is the ooze drippin' out my hoo-hah when I'm jogging.
Hey St. James, do you mind if I lease my house out to Vivid for a pornography shoot? Its just for a couple a weeks....every other month.

Anonymous said...

I used to own a place in St. Jame's place.

matty lite said...

Too soon.

becky said...

There are two Wendy's restaurants on the same street in St. James place?!?

That's the first big laugh I've had all day. Love your blog :)