A parable

There was this turtle who played on a wiffleball team. It was fun. It was good times with these wiffleball players. They were the turtle's friends. They were also friends of this iguana who the turtle loved for a while. Later the turtle did not love the iguana, and they split up. Now some of them wiffleballers gettin' married and the turtle is pissed because he's not fucking invited because the iguana will be there jesus christ when will it have been long enough for the turtle to get to see his old friends do stuff like get married or go on action vacations----we interrupt this broadcast to bring you this live transcript of the turtle's wedding toast----

Figure 12: The turtle's wedding toast

I'll be there in spirit, if not in the flesh,
so drink lots of spirits and grab you some flesh.
I'm wishin' you the very best,
just had to get this off my chest:
This world draws some mysterious lines
that just fuckin' piss a turtle the fuck off sometimes.