New words for these new times

You guys. It's 2009. We don't have time to say all the syllables we used to say. We're on the go. We're fast-paced. We're active. That's why I will never again ask you if you want to go eat at a restaurant. Instead, I will say "yo you wanna hit a 'straunt?"
You might reply, "ya let's go to [your favorite 'straunt], they got great apps and some bomb-ass 'trées."
Then I might say "ya, man, those 'tizers are to die fer, plus it's like the only place in town where I always order some 'sert."
You will reply "LOVE their 'sert, let's hop in my 'yota and get there."
"Chicks," I will think to myself, "do dig the 'yota, helps you score like Nino Rota," but I will not say this aloud as I get up and start towards the door, suddenly doubling back and explaining, "hold on, man, lemme grab my red bandana, I'm fully 'steenin it tonight."
You will nod thoughtfully and summarize "tonight, every street is gonna be E street."

I made up a new word

"Adaptacious." It's a word for when you are trying to describe why some trait evolved. Kind of a mix of "advantageous" and "adaptive."

Example usage: Flashing lights capture our attention because it was adaptacious for early humans to notice sudden luminance changes in their visual environment, such as those when say a giant flaming meteor was coming down to kill their dinosaur buddies, or a burning bush was trying to tell them it was that it was.

I will fight you if you don't start using this word.

spwned

This is a thing we invented Saturday where you sneak up behind someone and spoon them and hopefully snap a picture too. Then they have been spwned.* But have they have become "the littlest spoon?" This is a matter of some dispute.

Also, there is a secret way of giving five where you make your hands spoon.


Spwnman. Cum 2gether w yr hanzz.

Figure 12: Spwned


Figure 12b:Spwned.?.


Figure 12c: 5PWN3D!!!!11

* The internet claims that "spwn" is some kind of video game thing, but I'm pretty sure we have made that meaning obsolete.