What in the hell--a motherfucking earthquake.

There was an earthquake here last night around 4 AM (yes, last night, and fuck you for being one of those people who gets all self-righteous and tries to tell me 4 AM is techically today, that's not how I use those words). It was 5.2 on the Richter scale. That means nothing to me, I'll have to consult some 'Fornians and see if that gets any respect. But I can tell you it was confusing as hell. First I thought a truck was going by. Then I thought the janky upstairs back porch was finally falling off the building. Then I thought my upstairs neighbor was having a kind of sex I didn't know was even possible. Then I thought maybe there was a tornado. Then I thought it might be an earthquake. Then in my grogginess I became convinced it was the shockwave from a huge explosion, perhaps nuclear, perhaps in NY or somewhere, perhaps some terrorists who decided to kill the pope, since I think I saw him on the front page of the paper, which probably means he is coming to America? I couldn't sleep so I turned on the radio and found out it was an earthquake. Then I found out that the most boring thing in the world is to listen to people call and talk about a mild earthquake. There's really just not that much to say.