Monday, April 28, 2008

Shitty Food for Shitty People

Episode 12: Special Guest Nachos



Title music (over a beat based on a sample of Easy Livin')
Uh, Uh, Uh,
Shitty food for shitty peeps
this shit is givin' me the creeps
yo how you gonna cook some pita bread
's staler than last years' Peeps
yo how you gonna cook potato soup
without no goddamn leeks

yo tell me how much dishes
I should wash up out the sink
don't mean a thing's expired
just because it got that stink

put that bacon in a coffee filter
& stir it while it steeps
we cookin' up some bacon broth
Shitty food for Shitty Peeps

Yo fire up that CD player
put on some Uriah Heep
I got some shitty food I need
to make for some shitty peeps




Tonight we got special guests in the house. We got a dude who used to work at a restaurant, we got a dude who eats all kinds of healthy shit, and we got me. We just got done playin' some poker. Nachos is the order of business. We got some beans leftover that already made ten bowls of beans and rice, fifteen burritos, and some art. We got colby-jack AND cheddar in spades. We got three kinds of salsa and some pussy hot sauce.

[Tracking shot: walk to gas station for nacho chips. Shit, no nacho chips. Doritos? Fuck it. Fritos? Yes. Five bags please, 'cuz we doin' this.]


-Have some leftover beans that are already really good. So good.
-Heat them up while someone goes and buys nacho chips.
-Make sure they go somewhere where they will be out of nacho chips and they will have to buy five bags of fritos instead.
-Heat up the oven too, during that time. 375 or so.
-Put four bags of Fritos in a jellyroll pan.
-Pour heated up beans on there.
-Put a bunch of cheese too. Grated cheese.
-Also salsa, hot sauce, that tomato sauce you can get in little cans that is basically like enchilada sauce I guess but my Spanish isn't that good anymore.
-Put more cheese on there.
-The kicker: crush up the last bag of Fritos and make a crust with it. It is basically a casserole kind of idea you got goin' here.
-bake it. Ten, fifteen minutes, til the top fritos are all browning up nice.
-Wash some spoons and sit around a table and just eat the shit outta that shit.


Don't try and tell me this is "frito pie." Don't try to tell me that.

4 comments:

Matthew Frederick said...

This is frito pie.

Brien said...

Frito-pie donuts, at least, in the form of donut-holes.

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